The Ancalion Resistance

What Happened? 04-04-2017
MuthahFuckah's Log

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to the evil vampire liar we go.
Into the mine, one step at a time.
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho.

So, last time Skizz the Wiz burned bunch of goblins alive, while the rest of us killed a basilisk. That was cool, but my family wasn't there. 

Being the indomitable hero I am, I decided it would be best to go further into the infested mine to search for the prisoners. (And the dragon eggs, I guess). BUT SOME OF US WANTED TO STAY BEHIND AND LOOK FOR TREASURE INSTEAD. Idk if they were scared or what, but they insisted on hanging back.

As Crue, SanShin, Aseir, and I BRAVELY continued forth, UNKNOWING OF THE DANGERS AHEAD WHILE BRIZA AND SKIZZARD STAYED BEHIND IN SAFETY, we came across some pretty bad ass looking doors and decided to leave Aseir behind cause he's blind and would cause a ruckus. 

In all honesty, none of it really mattered since they all caught up to us anyway without any trouble. 

So as we were wandering around in the dark, skizzard had the great idea of tracking where we were by drawing a map. Survival skillz. We took some twists and turns and eventually came to a former area of worship that was absolutely trashed. Skizzard noticed a rune of some sort on the ground that, if stepped on, would trigger some sort of alarm system. He also knew how to disarm it. He's so smart. Sanshin smashed some rocks to disarm it. He's so strong. 

THEN WE FOUND A SECRET ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF TREASURES AND I GOT STUFF AND BRIZA GOT SOME STUFF AND SKIZZARD GOT SOME STUFF and sanshin got an old statue of a god. (But more importantly: I found mithrial armor)

While we were in the room, Crue felt a disturbance in the force up ahead. We booked it up there to find 3 DwermerDrugar*somethingsomethingIdonthavemynotes* I HEROICALLY JUMPED INTO BATTLE SLICING ONE OPEN AND SHOUTING THE OTHER TO DEATH

The third one was rather…large… but had decided it wasn't his fight and supuku'd out of there. There was much rejoicing. Until we realized that glyph from earlier was carved into his chest and he alerted the rest of the cave of our presence. The Evil Dwarves (actual names) has some crazy shit written on their arms, so we scribbled that down and ducked out of there. 

We currently are headed deeper into the cave. On the run. On the hunt. Someone is going to die today. 

Never empty handed,

MF Jones  
 

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What Happened? 03-19-2017
MuthahFuckah's Log

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So. I forgot to log anything last time. Highlight: we killed some vamps because they sparkled. 

  • After saving Rod-Rick we met back up at Cru's for a short rest while he made sure we didn't accidentally start a war. We didn't (damn..) 
  • I'm not sure if you guys realized that Roderick and me were best friends, but we are. He loves me the most. And to prove it, he gave me his BAG OF MOTHER FUCKING HOLDING. Side note: It's not actually called the "Bag of 'Mother Fucking' Holding". Just the "Bag of Holding".
  • Cru then sent a ridiculous amount of gold to take care of the boat. Yoo Hoo! Love that guy. 
  • Then we teleported to the bottom of the mountain where we found his black powder shop smashed. 
  • Working our way up the mountain, we found another outpost that was smashed with a dead dwarf in the rubble. Aseir thought it'd be a good idea to bring him back to life and ask him a few questions. First and most importantly, his name was Ballin'. literally. He didnt say much else other than he and his garrison were attacked "from below". 
  •  "Oh shit! Someone cut the bridge!" "Wait, why is Sanchin jumping off the ledge? I mean yeah it'll be difficult to cross, but there's no need to be so dramat… OH SHIT HE CAN FLY". Yup. Hellboy has wings. Cue the synchronized panty drop all over Ancalion. Sup, Bim. 
  •  Next, some lil ass yeti's are tryin to be slick just lurkin round the corner. Luckily, we have air support now. In an epic moment of unexpected brilliance, I grab some bombs, Sachin grabs me, we fly over head and slow-mo blitzkrieg those mother fuckers. They explode, bursting into flames as a faint "yoo hoo" cackles in the background. 
  • Under-rated moment: Briza rides Charlie (lucky), circling the yeti's as she shoots two pitched soaked arrows at the yeti's engulfing them into flames and killing one of them. 
  • We finally make it to the Dwarven settlement (I asked for the name of their settlement, but forgot to write it down), and use Cru's nobility superpower to get us in. 
  • Aseir goes invisible and starts looking around the abandoned city for someone to talk to, while the rest of us are led to where the people to talk to are. He started playing some killer music, it was just for the wrong/no audience. I'm sure if the guard was off duty he woulda jammed along with it. Oh well. 
  • Back to the rest of us. Good news: Fam came through. Bad news: no one has heard from them in weeks. They pissed someone off though (classic), because the baddies came through and kidnapped this towns chieften. Big Deal. Dwarves were pissed at fam, but Skizzard's silk words convinced them that we could get the big guy back. 
  • but there's only one real mission
  • not the chief
  • not the dragon eggs
  • it's to save my family

Never empty handed,


MF Jones

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What Happened? 02-12-2017
MuthahFuckah's Log

From MuthahFuckah's log:

Whoops… Hit a row boat with a couple… I'm sure they're fine. 

Side note: Owls can't see in the day, nor see fish. Also very mean when you ask them to do anything… 

  • We found a dead guy in a boat. He was a thieve's guild initiate looking for a hefty prize. Gem of Galadiir. Upon completion of the task ("retrieving" the gem and turning it into the guild), the initiate would be able to bypass the rest of the initiation trials and receive 700 gold (metric system = A FUCK TON). 
  • We buried the body and tied his row boat (navy blue with a collapsible sail)  to the back of ours, and went into the forest toward Aniel, which is a wood elf hamlet(sp?) about three hours into the forest. 
  • On our way there, we ran into Harpies and quickly disposed of them. We then harvested talons and feathers off of them. 
  • Once there, we see the entire place was seemingly deserted. There is also a freshly dug grave for Reven. Content Not Found: skizzard_the_wizard recognized him as a well known and widely respected magical practitioner. He practiced natural magic and had recently taken an apprentice. (SPOILER: THE APPRENTICE KILLED HIM)
  • An elf appeared out of no where and introduced himself as Navae. He told us there was an evil wizard that banished the entire town into an alternate realm. (SPOILER: IT WAS HIM) And there is an object locked away that could reverse the effects of the curse. (SPOILER: IT'S THE GEM)
  • We go into Reven's very old house and break into his cabinet to get to the chest with the object. As soon as I pick up the chest, fucking Navae's bitch-ass shows up again and puts his dirty elf paws on my shoulder. Nothing happened, but it threw me off enough to fail unlocking the box. Content Not Found: briza_dyrr_ manages to unlock the box, but as soon as she does he fucking possessed her. He called spiders and we killed them and saved Content Not Found: brizadyrr, yada yada. Navae seemed to turn invisible and get away. 
  • We find out that the Gem can grant one wish. I say wanted to do something cool like save the world or turn into dragons… but we used it to save the stupid town. "Reverse all the negative effects of Navae" to be exact. 

Next time on MuthahFuckah and the Gnomies:

We talk to Reven and a mysterious visitor comes to join the cause!

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What Happened? 1-18-2017
MuthahFuckah's Log

- we met up with Hellboy and Harry Potter at Ye Old Cafe
- I made an owl to scout the city
- Skizzard went to the library to look for Drow information
- Aseir went back to Sauls (part of his backstory) and grabbed the cloth with the key indent to give the scent to Charlie 
- Sanchin went to get holy water and sent a letter to Bim
- Briza and Aseir went to searching with Charlie and snuck into an abandoned building.
- Briza overheard "The Priestess" and "The Elite Warrior" were talking to Lord (I honestly forget his name right now). They were talking about a plan for tonight 
- With great speed and dexterity, Briza snuck in and and Hunters Mark'd the warrior and escaped back into the busy streets
- MF went to the library and "checked out" a GNOME BOOK
- I GOT A BOOK OF FOREST GNOME GENEALOGY 
- Skizz found some story plot stuff. I couldn't hear what it was. 
- Aseir, Sanchin, and Skizzard went to meet with the old wizard
- We were allowed to squat and protect the scroll, but if anything happened to anything else in the room we'd be hunted down by every University in the region. 
- Aseir made a forge of the scroll and kept the real one with us. 
- the docks were attacked and set ablaze. RIP Yeah Bouy :'(
- the library was attacked as well and EVENTUALLY we went to help while I kept my owl watching the fake scroll
- OFF WIT YO HEAD 
MF took the head of the Priestess. 
- BRIZA NAT 20'D AND TURNED INTO A WERETIGER AND WAS ABLE TO CONTROL IT IMMEDIATELY 

Note: Briza's hunters mark was on the warrior which was still at the library, but we didn't see him…

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What happened? 1-10-2017
MuthahFuckah's Log

What happened
- got to the city. Docked the boat for 2 days. #23
- POTIONS ARE EXPENSIVE – try haggling
- Mary "jumped" off roof and died. (Brains EVERYWHERE)
- she had rope marks on her ankles and wrists and there were another set of foot prints on the roof 
- we told the guard captain and he might get in touch with us at our boat. 
- also found son that was set up to look like a hanging but was actually attacked by someone
- his mom sent him a key that he kept from the bad guy, but he got an imprint
- the key goes to the university
- Mary worked for an old librarian/collector who was getting an ancient scroll that speeds up aging process (probably the target) 
- he were followed by a humunculous that we killed
- briza/Azzir/MF went to search for a key maker (Saul)
- Saul was being held hostage and forced to make a key from the imprint by the bad guy. 
- Briza waited behind(?) while Azz and MF broke in. 
- threw down a smoke bomb and barreled through MF and got away 
-Skizz and Sanchin went to the university to find someone who could set up a meeting with the old dude.
- former professor MIGHT? Idk

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